when your mom’s cooking food and you can smell it from another room
i like that we say “oh, man” to express disappointment
because men are disappointing
My friend Tyler is trying to lose weight and he asked my other friend Orlando to train him. Tyler was embarrassed to go to the gym though so Orlando is taking care of that by dressing up as characters when they go to the gym so that the focus isn’t on Tyler but on himself. So far Tyler has been trained by a Jedi and steampunk Batman. This is one of the nicest things I have ever seen done for someone else.
Orlando’s kindness blows me away.
this is boss
there’s a special place in hell reserved just for me
it’s called the throne
who needs a thigh gap when the age gap between you and your favorite band member is big enough
i just figured out the perfect murder
kill someone and bury them in their own garden
that way if the police find them they’ll think it was a suicide
#welp looks like the victim committed suicide and promptly buried themselves in their garden #how considerate of them
six word autobiography: “fuck goddamnit i fucked up so bad”
guys i specifically made that sentence seven words long so someone could comment “but thats seven words” and i could say “fuck i did it again i fucked up” so we could all have a good laugh but no one said it. yall fucked up. i fucked up because i assumed yall wouldnt fuck up. everythings fucked up
Kesha got out of rehab, cut her hair, unfollowed Dr. Luke, changed her artistic name to Kesha Rose, and updated her twitter image, bio and header
I can feel the comeback in my bones
i think this person is a wizard
when you don’t compete in the olympics because you want it to be fair
I don’t think Aang is the last airbender.
i’m in love with how the “flip at your own risk” sign pans in dramatically and he does fifty flips in midair right in front of it and sticks the landing pose like “go fuck yourself i do what i want”
all the awards for that comment
….. I think he is a Shinigami..